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But, since I didn't have any regular pussy, jerking off was pretty much my only outlet. So there I was, another night at home, cock in hand, watching my favorite ass-fucking porno. Some red-headed beauty with a body that could stop traffic was on her hands and knees as some guy with a large cock - maybe about 8 inches long - was sliding it in and out of her puckered asshole. Another guy was sitting in front of her, and her hair swayed back and forth as his cock pistoned in and out of her mouth.Ah yes, this is the life, I thought. If I wasn't getting any sex in real life, watching a good fuck flick was the next-best thing.I was in that beautiful state where I was on the edge of orgasm when I suddenly heard a loud noise outside. It seemed rather serious, so I rushed to the balcony door to see what was going on.I found something serious, all right, though it had nothing to do with any loud noise. There in her own patio area was this stunningly beautiful woman, and she was masturbating. Eventually I found KY jell which made clean-up faster. I did worry about splinters a little, but gratefully I never experienced any.Some years later I read about a somewhat militant feminist who was fond of asserting that males should not be permitted to penetrate a vagina until they had had a broom handle shoved up the ass. Well, if that is a valid requirement, I am among the most qualified males on the planet. And quite happily so, I suppose I need to confess.Based on my masturbatory experiences with the shovel handle I was sure I could take it up the ass more or less without too much pain if I could get him lubricated, but I had never had one in my mouth before, although I need to confess, I had wrapped my mouth around the shovel handle once experimentally, but since that didn’t have nearly as pleasurable an effect as using it in my ass and tasted like wood I never repeated the experience. I had tried with carrots, but the shape was so unrealistic it was no fun. I had.
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